How To Deal With Bullying

Being a parent (especially to a teenager) the words 'bully' and 'bullied' frighten the life out of me. I'd like to think that we have brought big J up well and I know him enough to know he would never be capable of being a bully. However no matter how well you have brought your child up there is always the chance they could be bullied.

Big J has always had a strong group of friends however over the years there has been teasing amongst each other, a few arguments  but nothing ever serious. I am so grateful that throughout his primary and senior school days he has never uttered the words 'I don't want to go to school'.

You hear so many stories of kids being bullied and not talking to their parents about it, they suffer in silence. I think all kids like to think they are old enough to deal with things especially teenagers,  but in fact at this stage in their life they need us parents more than they think.

If your child is being bullied and you are one of the lucky parents were your child comes to you and confides in you then you really need to handle it well. It would be so easy to jump up out of your seat and want to hunt down the bully who is making your child's life a misery. Obviously this isn't the best thing to do first you just need to take a deep breath and listen, you need to listen till your child has told you everything. You need all the details so you can understand fully what your child is telling you. If a teenager or a child of any age has come to you it is most likely to be serious. It needs to be dealt with but you can't takeover you need to give your child the control on what happens next.

So you have listened to your child and they have told you the extent of the bullying. This is going to be hard to hear, no matter how big or small, someone has hurt or upset your baby. So again it's time to take a deep breath and ask your child what they want you to do. Are they telling you to get it off their chest and they want to deal with it themselves or do they want you to step in.

Bullying usually happens at school so if that is the case then arrange a meeting with the headteacher. They need to know and they should follow an anti bullying policy. If possible try to write down as much information as you can before the meeting. Dates of incidents are important and also how many incidents there has been and is it physical, emotional or mental abuse.

Your child might not want to name the bully, do not push for this information. Your child may think they will be bullied more if they have 'grassed' on their peer. Work alongside the school to find out who the bully is.

The school may offer your child a councillor to confide in. You need to give the school plenty of time to deal with this situation. It won't be rectified overnight.

Top tips for dealing with Bullying

1. Listen to your child. Do not interrupt
2. Reassure your child. Let them know that they have done nothing wrong.
3. Let your child keep full control of the situation. Let them tell you how they want it to be handled.
4. Arrange a meeting with the headteacher.
5. Keep as many notes as possible including dates of incidents.

Bullying is not acceptable at any age in life but unfortunately it happens every day. If you or your child are being bullied then please do speak out, don't be afraid.




13 comments

  1. Fantastic tips - I am absolutely terrified of when my daughters get to secondary school age because I know all too well how hard bullies can make your life. It's not easy being a teenager!

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  2. This is a really useful post as sadly bullying still happens way too much. Whilst my daughter isn't bullied as such, there are some really nasty girls in her class so I always make sure I listen to her and we talk about how to make things better/easier. Thanks for sharing this

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  3. These are really good tips, I would also suggest affirming your child, telling them that it's the bully who has the problem and reassuring your child of their own positive identity.

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  4. I was bullied badly at secondary school but didnt really have anywhere to turn as my parents were divorcing at the time. Thankfully I made it through but I appreciate it can really affect some people for life. Thanks for the tips I am hoping mine won't have to go through the same as me x

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  5. Great advice. This is something that I worry about as my eldest started school, thankfully at the moment its a lovely group of children and we've not had even a fallout yet!

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  6. Bullying is such a sensitive topic and you have provided some really useful advice in relation to this serious issue.

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  7. Bullying is horrible, I hate that it exists. Hard for kids to get away from it these days due to phones and social media. Great tips.

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  8. I've got a teenager son and he gets a bit of grief at school because he's shorter than the others. His Dads 6ft 2in so I think he is going to shoot up at some point and they can stick it then!

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  9. A great post with some fantastic tips. Bullying is my biggest fear I just really hope both my children enjoy their school experience.

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  10. Listen - the key
    Getting the message across is vital

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  11. I feel terrible for what kids have to go through these days with social media. Parents should follow these tips and stay on the ball.

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Thanks for your comments. I love reading them :)